What do I do???

This site has online counselling. The therapists are very professional and nice people too. Give them a call and ask for help and guidance. Take care of yourself. God bless you.

One day at a time...you can do it...sometimes all it takes is a little bit of effort to start with & right now you are asking for support. This is a big step.

I go through the same things. I will eat healthy but then still find ways to binge on the healthy food. Or I will eat a few pieces of something bad like chips or candy and then decide well what the heck, Why not just give in and eat a ton then purge. I often go to the grocery store as well and just buy foods that I know I will throw up. It makes no sense but its a comfort to me until I feel guilty after throwing up.

I am not sure how to stop the process as well. I know I need to just re-train my thinking but how do you start. It always ends with me purging anyway.

Do the people on the site charge? I am literally always broke due to my bulimia. It is AWEFUL! I've been spending up to $50 / day on food that I don't even digest. I don't have insurance right now and there are only a couple of people I can talk to about this since I work in the fitness industry and I feel like a complete hipocrit. I lost 100lbs the right way, eating right and exercise, and now, now I get stressed and have been dealing with it this way. I had a cut body before and now I am losing tone because I can't keep enough calories in to do more than mild exercise. The problem is that people don't understand that it's not about weight, it's control. And the problem with that is the more I try to control it, the more out of control it gets. It has been at least daily for the past 3 months and the past month I get dizzy and cold sweats afterward. I feel like nothing will help me...

Why do you feel like you have to be in control. What is causing you to feel like you need to have that kind of control in your life?

Hi there. Your post really moved me. I have been exactly where you are, feeling like food controls you and you can't stop the cycle. You are so right when you said that food isn't the problem, it is something underneath the food. Eating is the symptom of another problem. Sometimes it's anxiety, or depression, or sadness or loss... all the feelings we tend to push away because they are so painful. Food gives us a temporary fix but ultimately as you know you just end up feeling worse. It's the same for every person who has an eating disorder. PLEASE KNOW there is hope, and there is help. Personally, I struggled with bulimia for many years and thought there was no hope. But I found my way "out" on my own, and I know absolutely that recovery is possible. I want to share a site and information on someone who has really helped me. Geneen Roth has written about her own eating disorders and is an amazing woman. Her site is www.geneenroth.com. Her first book is called When Food is Love. If you can, I highly suggest you read it. You'll feel better. I hope this helped in a small way... and I am happy to share more if you like.

i feel you. the second i try to address any of my other issues the bulimia rages out of control. you're not alone. take it one day at a time. i know even that can be hard but just keep trying. don't give up.

I'm so relieved to have found this site and share your feelings... I have been dealing with my alcoholism for about 6 months and it has totally triggered my bulimia. I went on a 5 day AL bender little over 2 weeks ago and since re-stopping drinking have been basically giving into the binging/purging cycle which I had been doing okay with. Feel out of control, but to read similar emotions to my own makes me feel less alone. I've been bulimic about 10 years after losing about 60 lbs.. for me too it is about control. But I stay home to either drink or binge/purge and am out of control. I am in counselling and it helps my super high anxiety but only for a while... then I just want the comfort of food (for as long as it lasts). I've held strong today and plan to tomorrow as well. I'll check in and you keep trying too