Starting to feel a little better

By Ray of hope on Fri, 02-24-12, 19:54

Posted in Group:

Bulimia

Its now Friday night, and I have gone almost 3 full days without purging. I feel better then yesterday for sure, not as lost. But I was supposed to go to dinner with friends, I canceled. I'm not sure I can handle that yet, too much pressure. They all love to eat and drink a lot and have a good time, and I feel like I would totally give into a purge in that environment. I also have a date tomorrow, just coffee but I'm trying to decide whether or not I should go. I feel like right now all I should be focusing on is my recovery but I'm so lonely it hurts. I live by myself and it's seriously difficult to have no one around you. But then I also think its selfish of me to drag someone else into my mess of a life. And I know that if people really like me for me they will accept all of me , even my struggles with bulimia. But I have had so many people say to me just eat, what's the big deal? I have had friends tell me that I choose to have bulimia and I just do it to get attention. What do u say? Well actually it's like an addiction and I just can't stop? That's not any better. Pretty sure I'm rambling now. Anyway much love to everyone.

Ray

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By beginagainandagain on Fri, 02-24-12, 20:51

Rayofhope,
You should be so proud. Three days without purging makes a big difference in ones outlook. When we are down in the bulimia dumps its easy to be alone, it is only natural you now more than ever want to be around people. I understand the feeling lonely. This is where faith and trust in the process comes in. It's good you feel like socializing, it's smart you avoided the hard party night, it's awesome that you are on your fourth day of freedom.
Thank you for being out there.

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By Dtoday on Sat, 02-25-12, 12:47

Hi Ray, how are you today? Are you going on your date?

I think its important not to isolate ourselves but totally understand not wanting to bring anyone into our "messes." But remember you are not a mess, you are a wonderful person with problems you are bravely addressing.

Good luck to you!

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By Ray of hope on Sat, 02-25-12, 14:53

So just got off work and getting ready for my date, we will see howit goes, I'm glad it's coffee and not a restaurant. But I decided that I can't live my life by this stupid problem so I need to continue try and be as normal possible. I'm still anxious but it's been 3 1/2 days and no purge, I hope I don't relapse, I feel good but I know it's a really long road ahead. Thanks for all the support, much love,
ray

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By Ray of hope on Sat, 02-25-12, 14:53

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