I have been bulimic for about two years now. It comes and goes. The worst it ever got was when my ex-boyfriend deployed. I was in the bathroom after every little nibble. As I have fallen in and out of love over the past two years, the disease has ventured in and out of my life. I feel like it's starting to prevent me from being truly happy. I don't want my emotions to be tied to guys or food. I want to be me, and wholeheartedly happy with exactly who I am, alone or in a relationship. If I've pigged out, I go to the bathroom. If I have upset and mindlessly shoving food in my face, I justify it with "Well, I'll just go throw it up..".. I just can't do this anymore. I'm worried about my health, I'm worried about my pretty little white teeth, and the damage I'm causing to them and my throat with all the acid. Even my housemate confronted me two days ago and asked why I throw up. At first I justified it with "I'm not feeling well today" but that was quickly irrelevant when he said "You throw up more than anyone I've ever met," indicating he's been hearing me for awhile. I couldn't lie, so I told him the truth. His hug and encouraging words were nice, but nobody understands and nobody knows how to help. I told my mother and she said "I used to do the same thing at your age," but as far as seeing it as a bigger problem, there was no response. I hate that I love to cook, and love to eat, but then feel so guilty for doing so. The grocery store is my worst enemy, and I really have a hard time budgeting for food at all. I hate that I buy it, prepare it, eat it, and then waste it down the toilet. I'm here in hopes that someone can help.