More serious about recovery now

Hi Daisy,
Everything you are thinking and feeling is normal.
Recovery is very important, but remember to just take one day at a time. You do not have to accomplish everything right away. It's a process and will take some time. Set small goals for yourself... just little things. Keep busy with hobbies, or find new hobbies to do... reading, writing, painting, drawing, sewing, gardening.... anything really :) You can also get involved in organizations... volunteer at church or with a nonprofit organization, etc. Helping others can help you too.

Hope this little bit of advice helps you out :)
Have a good day!
~Lily

That's helpful to remember that I don't have to change overnight. To think about all the changes I would have to make seem so overwhelming.
I feel as though I have lost who I am and what I truly like. I could look into finding things to do like you said.
I haven't purged yet today so that is a start.

Good for you :) See... already looking at the bright side of things! Keep up the positive attitude :-)

When looking for little hobbies, just start small. I found reading is easy and can really take your mind off of things. Maybe go the the library and find one book that interests you. Read a few pages a day... or if you find yourself so engrossed in it, then keep going! :-)

One thing I love to do is go to the dollar store and get coloring books... I know its childish, but I love to color. Its fun and now there's all sorts of fun crayons... makes coloring more interesting :)

I will give reading a try. I agree, it seems there is more fun stuff to color with than when I was younger. It seems childish at first, but there is something freeing in it. I don't care what others think. It's certainly not hurting anyone! I appreciate the ideas and although I feel fat right now I feel good that I haven't b/p.

I feel weak right now. I feel I can't resist the urge to binge and purge so here I am. I'll try to focus on reading, coloring, maybe I just need to get where people are but I feel too ashamed of myself. It feels everyone knows about this. And they all think I'm too big to have a problem.
It's easier to hide. At least here no one knows me so it's easier to open up about what is going on.

'CK' told me to pull all the strength from my being together that I have, so here I am. trying to distract myself long enough that maybe I will be able to somehow concentrate on something else.

Here I am again. I am trying to keep busy and it is working. I feel like I'm leaving a ton of posts, but I don't know what else to do. It seems to be keeping me from b/p so I guess it is better to do.
Has everyone ever heard of Shan Larter on youtube? She has a lot of videos about eating disorder recovery and the scale and so on. It is interesting and has been helping me these past few hours.

Daisy2012,
I commend you for posting when you are feeling so skittish and tempted. No matter what happens you can consider your day a success. I bet you are used to not pausing, just letting the urge to purge run your life. This is a process and every positive step you take (like posting not purging) builds momentum.
I can relate to everything you say, it's comforting to know we are not alone.
Thank you for your sharing.
P

Thank you also for sharing, Yes I am very used to letting the urge to purge run my life. It seems the only way to avoid purging is not to eat and that can only go so long. And then the binge/purge just seems to get worse and the thoughts more and more. It does help to post rather than purge. Although this morning I'm afraid of messing up such a wonderful day.

Daisy,
You are capable of more than you know. I must run to school, but not before I wish you a peaceful day. Remember delay, distract, and discuss!
I am in the scary phase where I am just not purging. Yes I am eating too much and feeling fat, but ultimately I feel better, and things even out.
What has the feeling of being empty and rung out like an old dish rag ever done for us. Some nutrients and water does wonders.
Little victories, one meal, hour, minute at a time. I will be checking back in today for my own sanity.
Love,
P