Looking To Kick This!

By Tgtrixter on Thu, 02-02-12, 22:31

Posted in Group:

Bulimia

Hi, I am 39 and just told my mom about my disorder last year. Growing up, I can remember at the age of 9, being 'fat' was 'bad'. I got a new boyfriend and my dad asked my mom if he cared if I was fat or not! I can't even remember when I first started doin' this. I'm losing tissue in my mouth and really just don't want to do this anymore. My dentist was afraid to say anything about the 'sores' in my mouth last year, but his look to his asst. said it all for him! How embarassing! I was a size 9/10 in highschool and i was still called fat! Now i'm a 24 and would die to weigh that much again! I've never been on here before guys, any advice!

I wish i could throw all my emotional crap away and just be happy!

tgtrixter!

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By CK on Fri, 02-03-12, 18:02

I would highly recommend therapy if you aren't already seeing a therapist. This is ruining your health and your life. You have been unhappy with your weight and body for almost 3/4 of your life, this is no way to live. Food should be looked at as nourishment, not as something to muffle the pain and then thrown up with guilt. This is a powerful cycle that can be broken through therapy and support, but YOU have to want this. Not just because you don't want dirty looks from your dentist. You have to be committed to a difficult road ahead and be willing to "get back on the horse" no matter how many times you fall off.

I wish you strength and courage for the road ahead, please message me anytime you could use some encouragment.

Blessings-
CK

Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast-Alice in Wonderland

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By myjenny on Fri, 02-03-12, 19:22

It isn't easy, but support & understanding is what you need. I think the hardest part of having to deal with this is trying to find out who I am & what I want after years of hiding binge eating, purging & doing this because I was hiding my true self from other because I was afraid they would like the real me.

If you need anything, I'm here.

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By Tgtrixter on Fri, 02-03-12, 23:27

Thanks myjenny, i've started a diary, and hopefully can work this out on here, I told my mom i found this support site and all she said was: "You haven't fixed that yet?" She was just as abused, but she always stood by my dad's side. Letting go of years of pain and grief are gonna be hard. I always get the 'oh poor me' and 'put your big girl pants on' speach rollin' thru my head! Uh...I do appreciate this site tho...havin' people who go thru the same crap you do is very supportive and calming almost!

Thanks, TG

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