Just when I thought it was getting better...

By cepd13 on Thu, 02-23-12, 02:00

Posted in Group:

Bulimia

Hi. I'm Cathrine. I'm going to be 29 on Friday. Before my mom passed away from severe cirrhosis and continual drinking on October 18th 2011 I thought I could see a light at the end of the tunnel, but now it has grown black again. I can't stop missing her and hating my dad for being so mean to her and me. I just wish it was him and not her.
I am also blessed with Borderline Personality disorder. one finds identity in the other. I keep my potassium up, I've always had a prescription, but I'm still scared I'm going to die soon. I am on a finite budget, and need help in Ohio.

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By beginagainandagain on Thu, 02-23-12, 06:52

Hi Catherine,
My heart goes out to you, it is so understandable that you are letting your ED soothe you through grief. I hope you can be have compassion for yourself. It may not feel like it, but recovery is in you. One meal at a time.
Money issues and bulimia are married (in my experience). If you are in any kind of town, there is probably an OA meeting, they are free and usually stocked with inspiration. Any act of self care can help penetrate your wall of messed up protection, the world needs you.
Please understand that you count, anger is fear and grief, and that you need to take care of yourself today

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